Skip to content

Every Which Way But Loose and Great Expectations…

August 30, 2014

 

Have you ever had a time when you really, really, really needed a friend, but there was none around? Someone to talk to, to hold on to? To help you through some dark hour? To help you through a maze of contradictory and hurtful things? That you are being torn up and turned every which way but loose? When you feel like you have lost a dear friend and everything is changing around you, but you don’t really know or understand why? There is a chill in the air?

A time when you feel like if you go backwards, you should have gone ahead? That if you went right, you should have gone left? That if you went left you should have gone right? That if you went forward you should have gone in reverse? That no matter which way you turn, it is wrong. No matter what you do or do not do, it is wrong. No matter what, well, it won’t work out the way your great expectations thought it would? It is what it is, you say to yourself – can it ever be repaired? If trust and belief are broken can it ever be restored? The answer is no, it cannot, and therefore you say to yourself why even bother? They just don’t understand, they cannot understand, it is only their viewpoint they know and understand.

Timelines and expectations. Oh, it doesn’t matter if what you said was true or not. “I will return” said the Lord. Great expectations. Timelines broken. “You promised”. “Yes”, He said, “I did, I promised you, and I will perform, but not to your expectations. Your great expectations have proven wrong over and over again. There is a method to all of this madness, you know. It is what it is, and it will all work out, be patient, be patient, don’t push so hard…”

“But” I protested, “the timelines all pointed here…” The reply was blunt. “I promised, I will return. You got there before I did, but I will get there too. Do you believe me? Do you trust me? If you don’t we have nothing left to discuss…”

Expectations. Great Expectations. Other’s expectations. Hurts where none were ever intended nor wanted, the last thing ever…”Where is the promise? You promised…” Expectations are seldom met, even when everyone expected them to be…things happen, they say. Why do we have such great expectations for others when we ourselves fail in them as well?

“Yes I did, and I will perform what I promised, but not to your expectations and not on your timeline. Don’t be hurt, don’t be angry, just be patient, I will return, I will perform as I promised. In my Father’s House are many mansions. I promised, and I will perform, but not to your timelines, not to your expectations…”

So depressions sets in. Doubts. Trust? Maybe, maybe not. Expectations dashed. Who to blame? Let’s blame anyone and everyone. Strike out at anyone nearby especially one you love. “You did not meet my expectations. You are untrustworthy, a son of Satan himself…” And so it goes…” Ever been there?

So I laid down on the couch, and drifted off to a place where I go when I have failed everyone around me because they had great expectations. Everyone. Oh, they say no, that is not true, but you know that it is. A Spirit thing. “All I ever wanted to do was to love you, but you would not…” Failed. Expectations. Others expectations. The victim becomes the perpetrator, the perpetrator becomes the victim. Hard to sort out, hard to understand these great expectations of a fallen humanity.

So I drifted off to sleep…

I found myself walking up a hill in the snow. I saw lights on in a house I knew from my childhood days. The snow was soft, falling gently. I was going home. So I went inside but no one was there. I searched high and low for them. My mom, my dad, my brothers… I called out to them, but no one was home. No answers. No one would ever be home ever again. My heart fell. Great Expectations. I left walking in the snow that was falling heavier now. I felt utterly alone. My expectations dashed to the ground.

Timelines…It all went by so fast, I did not realize how the time had gone by. “You said you would do it by such and so” the boss said. “It isn’t done, you have not met my expectations, such great expectations I had for you! Can I trust you or not?” The truthful answer, no. Never. Things got in the way. I meant to get it done, but I failed. “I am so disappointed in you…” GREAT were the EXPECTATIONS.

I saw this bird laying in the snow. It had a broken wing. I thought I could heal this bird, bring it back, show it the way to freedom and fly free. The bird spoke to me and said “My wing is broken, my spirit is broken, and I am sick and ready to die…” I said “No, you can heal your wing, you can heal your spirit, you can fly and be free once again, I will help you, I will show you…”

“Not so” said the bird. “Well”, I said, “with that attitude I guess you are right, with that hurt, I guess you are right, with that spirit you are right, you never will be healed. But I would love to try, but you are so negative, so negative, what’s the point? I could save you if you would let me…”

“I am not yours to save” replied the bird. “Oh Jerusalem, oh, Jerusalem, if only…” rang in my ears. So hard to turn away. Great expectations. Great timelines, greater expectations. The Love of Christ. No one seems to understand it, so they totally misinterpret it. I guess it is not their fault, how could they? They only have fallen expectations, no matter how great they may appear.

Pressures from the right, left and all around. Perform. PERFORM!! Do it, get it done. NOW!! Corporate America!! DO IT, GET IT DONE, GET IT DONE NOW!! PERFORM. “You must meet our expectations for you. Your review is going badly, you failed. No raise this time. Sorry, you did not meet our timelines, you did not meet our great expectations…”

So your last paycheck is handed you and you walk away. You failed. Every which way but loose. So you pick up the phone and ring a friend. NO ANSWER. I really needed a friend tonight. Someone who might possibly understand, but could not because they also had great expectations about you. Failed again. So you put the phone down, sad, alone, so sad…

So alone now. So sad, too bad. Woe is me, if I did not have bad luck, I would have no luck at all. Thrown under the bus, the train, the steamroller and 25 18 wheelers. So I went into this bar in my dream. There was this woman there sitting alone so I sat beside her. She turned and looked at me. She looked like one hundred miles of bad road. We talked. She had, she said, such great expectations in life. “I had a dream”, she said. “But it did not ever seem to go right for me. Things happened I did not ever see coming. Life is strange. I am alone now. Are you alone?”

“Yes,” I replied. “We are all alone in the end of things. We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone, but then again, maybe not…”

She nodded. “All I ever wanted was to be loved and have a home…” Her voice trailed off, a tear ran down her withered cheek and fell to the counter. “I had such great expectations, now all I want is to just go home now, I am so tired…”

“There is one who can help you, He is not  far off, He is inside your heart. You have no idea how much He loves you, no idea at all, and He has GREAT EXPECTATIONS FOR YOU…” I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

I left and went outside and the snow was falling very heavy now. I began to think that even when we hit the low of our lows, and even when we feel so disappointed from our great expectations of others who totally failed us, that they too had great expectations, great dreams…

Maybe we would all be better off if we dropped off all of our so great expectations of others and simply acknowledge we are all liars, make promises we want to keep, and will keep, but not on the timelines and the great expectations of others. We all fail deadlines we cannot keep, make work projects we cannot do, and all because of unexpected nor ever seen events that happen, and then when it fails, we say to those we had such great expectations for “I am so disappointed in you…”

Do you have great expectations? Have you put pressure on someone to perform? Are you a boss? Are you the big, really big, big boss of all bosses? Are you supportive or a big nag? “YOU SAID…” Yes I did. So what? Did you ever say and not do exactly when and how?

The phone rings. “I am so sorry I cannot come over today. I know I promised, but something has come up…” Great were the expectations.  Then who are you to turn anyone every which way but loose with your great expectations?

The snow is now waist deep. I struggle to get through it. It is getting too deep. I am getting tired now. Can’t move left or right, forward or reverse. Getting cold now. Getting sleepy. I had such great expectations…

 

LIGHTGATE BLOGGER

 

 

8 Comments
  1. Jerry Wills permalink
    September 7, 2014 11:52 pm

    Been here seemingly stuck, disabled, cannot work, no car, no income, no one like me around. Yea I’ve been thinking along these same lines recently. Cannot walk far, no car, no money, not a red cent in 3 weeks, finally 47 bucks for my script. Man when is this Ferris wheel gonna let me off. I have even had a spiritual dry spell for about 4 weeks. That makes it harder. I’ll go praise him some more, try to find that one person online that has the real word from THE FATHER. Hard to find Hard! Need Stewart and those alike. Thxs again Stew. I am ready to go up there and try to fish. Heard it was great there. But what happened to me only allows a brief time of energy and it’s back to bed. There are many much worse and dying and have died today. Pray a little one for this place and my daughter and her 3 yr. old autistic boy. We are having a hard time. She feels like she is rotting in this small town. Thanks Brothers and Sisters, and keep looking up, I DO !!!

    Like

  2. September 3, 2014 8:22 pm

    I think others here have encouraged better than I could, so I will say this, whatever situation we find ourselves in, He’s been there – alone, deserted by His friends, denied by one close to Him, arrested and sentenced unjustly, whipped, mocked, scorned, and finally killed by those who hated Him and what He stood for. He had the last word though, ie the Word had the last word. He was risen from the dead, with the keys of hell and death, triumphing openly and spoiling the seeming victory of the principalities, powers, wicked rulers in the spiritual high places, and having His name exalted above every other name, anywhere.
    I know despite my failures, (many) His love forgave me, cleansed me, and welcomed this prodigal back with open arms. Now I seek to learn how to follow the strait gate, narrow way, of obedience to Him, so that when I arrive in His presence I will be a testimony to the defeat of the adversary and his hordes in my life, that was made possible by His Spirit, His love, His grace, His power, and His hand upholding me, leading me, and helping me every step of the way. That is my prayer for me and for all who seek to serve Him, which means you too Stewart.

    Like

  3. September 2, 2014 11:47 am

    Well this one brought tears… I started a new job in April, left one tyrant to work for another… But you know what the Lord said to me that brought me to my knees? “I love them.” So I pray for them.
    If I could only let Christ live through me and be formed in me and see things His way, maybe I could stop leaning on my own understanding. Hang in there Mr. Best, the Lord is not slack concerning His promises but want all to come to repentance.
    In Christ, Sarah

    Liked by 1 person

  4. September 2, 2014 12:47 am

    Since the shortwave days l’ve appreciated your talks Mr. Stewart. I know the pit and I know a very unique and special light. I know a hate that would melt you away and I know a love that will do the same. A calm peace for you … xj

    Like

  5. August 31, 2014 1:01 pm

    This blog was on time, because I am experiencing a hard place with no room to move to the left or right. Nothing I say or do meets the expectations of those around me, not even myself. If I could kick me I would, it’s like a hit or miss and this mark I striving for I cannot afford to miss. Silencing all the expectations and accepting that “all men (mankind) are liars is a takes strength beyond what I have. God’s Word helps me moment to moment, but it is a fight. Thank you for your encouragement and reminders of God’s Truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Art permalink
    August 31, 2014 9:08 am

    Hang in there! All thing work out for those who are called and love The Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Abby permalink
    August 31, 2014 8:08 am

    Stewart, so much to say, but just these 2 things — after my husband passed away a couple years ago, the Lord sustained me. Your CD’s comforted, encouraged, focused, led me. Not sure at all what I would have done without that still small voice of the Holy Spirit that directs your words — voice and blog. Secondly, having just extricated myself from Corporate America, I can say that what you say is absolutely true — it is a trap. A method Satan uses to pull people down and away from the Lord. Sometimes you don’t know the walls that hold you in until you tear them down. Wrecking ball. There is a song “I’ve been warn down like a road, I did everything you told me. Been warn down to my knees, I did everything to please. . .” Truth is we all disappoint. Fallen creatures that we are. Only the Lord is faithful.

    You are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Carol permalink
    August 31, 2014 6:49 am

    Stewart, Yes that’s how I feel, hard to move through the deep snow but then the verse will come to “My grace is sufiient enough for today” You are my Friend and evangelist this road I am on is long But I Thank The Lord you pointed out to me the Road. I am learning not to be angry with the people who will ridicule The Strait Gate and Narrow way but to feel sorry for them, they will find out soon enough The Lord meant what He said. The Lord put you in my path for this reason and I am so Thankful He did! I get so weary sometimes but I will wait for The Lord to come into his Temple. He has an appointed time for me. Thank you Stewart!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: