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Desperadoes Waiting For a Train – Part Two

March 3, 2014

I walked along that old dirt road, through the slowly drifting fog, the moonlight now bright

As I moved along, I came to this place

The sign in front said Care Home…

The lights were on, so I went inside,

Maybe I could find some answers here, I thought…

I came across this old lady, sitting there in her wheel chair,

Her head was bowed down, sort of like she was sleeping…

So I knelt down in front of her and looked at her blue eyes,

Oh they were open…still bright…

I said to her, “what are you doing here?”

She looked a bit confused, like who wanted to know, no one else seemed to want to…

Her hands shook as she moved them towards me…

She gathered herself together and sat upright, but it took some effort…

Her fingers and hands were disfigured from arthritis and years of hard work…

Her face deeply lined, etched in the acids of time, but still you knew many years ago she was a pretty woman…loved by someone maybe…

“Who wants to know,” she said softly…

So I said, “I do, I want to know about you, your life, could you tell me….?”

A tear came to her eye, rolled down her cheek. She shook, her lips quivered…she started to cry…

Oh my God, I thought, does not anyone care at all? Has no one ever asked? Has no one cared enough to inquire even a little? Has Satan used her all up and now well, you know, discard her now, her life, well, who cares anyhow…

I wondered what wisdom lay inside the caverns of her memories – you can’t live that long without practical wisdom and a dose of common sense, I thought to myself…

So I reached up and I hugged her, held her to me… she sobbed a long time it seemed… no one loved her really, not anymore…she was just a useless castaway now, society would rather see her dead…

She started tell me about her life, when she was little girl, her sisters, her brothers, her mom and dad, school, marriage her kids, all of it… it was like no one had asked her anything, and now it came all rolling out, and how her eyes  began to sparkle and she began to smile as she recalled her children…and her loving Harry.

“Oh, he was such a dear to me”, she said, “such a wonderful loving man…” her voice trailed off…

She gathered herself together again…”he was my best friend, you know…my very best friend, we would just sit and talk forever about everything, I told him I loved him every morning, every noontime and every night…I don’t think there is enough of that now…” She looked down at her knurled hands.

“We would go for walks, hand in hand, oh how I miss my Harry…”

“What happened, may I ask?”

“He took sick, got worse over a week or so, called me to his side one night, and said “Ruthie, my Ruthie, I am going away now, thank you for loving me…” and he died right there, like he went to sleep. It was so hard for me, really hard you know when… her voice trailed off to silence…

“Your children, tell me about your children, where are they?”

Silence…

So I said, “Do you see them often?”

She shook her head, “no, have not seen them now for several years it seems, but I have pictures”, she smiled as she pulled them out of the little bag she had with her. I guess that was all she had now, those pictures and few little things…

They were all so worn and faded now, she must have looked at them a hundred times a day, hoping, maybe she would see them come down the long hallway, but it was a lost hope, a faded hope now, like the pictures she had.

Her hands shook a little as she held up each one, pointing out each child… She named each one, she was still so proud of her children, two daughters and two sons – and was so proud they had made it in the world, a doctor, a lawyer, a university professor and contractor…

I wondered why this woman, who devoted her life to her family was now left to die in some castaway home in the middle of a castaway planet…are we all just a little or a lot to busy?

So I asked her gently if she knew why they did not come to visit her…She shook her head, the tears came again. “Not sure”, she said, “they are so very, very busy, you know, so very, very busy… and I guess maybe they don’t want to see me this way…” She sobbed softly. “I pray I’ll see them one more time before I go away…”

How lonely this must be, I thought… how alone she must feel inside. How lost, rejected, waiting to die, waiting to escape the pain of old age – what else was there now?  She was just a castaway, another desperado waiting for the train… I guess everyone is, really…

So then I knew what Jesus meant when He said that planet Earth was a pit with no real love in it – a place where the children cast away their elderly after robbing them of everything that can strip them of, vultures if the truth be known…

I heard footsteps, so I look up and saw this elderly man with a stroller coming my way…

He came and sat down by a chair there next to Ruthie…he nodded at me…

He reached over and grabbed her hand – “they’ll come, Ruthie,  you’ll see, they will come…” They must have talked a lot, I guess. Well At least she had someone to look after her a little, anyway –two castaways, hugging each other against the cold winds of forgetfulness and no love, extracting what little warmth was left in their frailties.

My Lord, what have we become? I cried silently. What have we become??? Or were we like this from the very beginning. Was there really a fall? Did we fall from the grace of God? Why are we like this?

The answers are blowing in a very ill wind…I think a hear weeping. Is it a death wail? Rachael and her children, I thought – it must be present in all ages, all times…what has happened here?

The sounds wharf by me now and again, an echo from the long misty past,  the helplessness of it all. Jesus, are you there? Somewhere? Anywhere? Why won’t you answer, our hearts are being torn apart…please?

The night is bitter cold now, the stars twinkle against dark blue velvet. Orion’s belt, yes, there it is. The moon is now setting…Have I learned anything, I wondered. Yes, maybe…

Value your time, value your loves. Value your caring and your compassion, and do something, do something…it is all there is in a loveless and cold, cold world. Soon the train comes for all of us. A few have a ticket for heaven, most do not, having not understood, but could have had they wanted to. Now do what you must to get your ticket, for time is now wasting away at an alarming rate – and soon the train will be here.

Did you get your report done? Does your bank account balance?  Did you hurry to get to work on time? Did you get your raise? Your promotion? How long you have worked but no one tells you how much they appreciate it…but maybe they will…someday if I stay…but then again maybe not…

How did the high school football game turn out? Did you see the play last night, and by the way, did you hear the news? Did you read the latest Time magazine? Busy, we are all so busy, tic-toc. See those little grains of time sand running through your fingers – you can’t get them back you know…

Anything, any excuse, any rationale, anything to avoid the cross and the insult and the offense of it. ANYTHING…

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Do you hear me now? Do you really here what the Spirit is saying to you? 

 

LIGHTGATE BLOGGER

6 Comments
  1. Elaine permalink
    March 3, 2014 1:55 pm

    Ever consider that this “endearing elderly lady” was actually quite a narcissistic, self-serving SOB in her younger days? Never had a good word to say to her kids and always looked out for NÚMERO UNO at the expense of her family? To hear her tell it, she was all goodness and light, but you’d be surprised at how many “sweet older folks” have quite a dark side. (The Bible says “the heart is desperately wicked; who can know it?) I understand your point in printing these cautionary tales, but they are one-dimensional and bordering on sappy.

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    • March 3, 2014 2:04 pm

      Your heart is exactly what I have been speaking of -how do you know about her? Be careful you don’t end up the same as the “bitch” I wrote about- and by the way judge not, lest you be judged. Further, have you ever buried a loved one? Maybe, maybe not – but I detect bitterness and anger – Jesus will cure that for you if you will let him – and by the way, we are all “bitches”. The love of Christ does not consider if you are a “bitch” or not, He loves you anyway – I think that is really a GOOD thing really, as Bitch Martha Stewart would say. Maybe you better not read these if you don’t like them – got one more to go so beware, it might be way to “sappy” for you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elaine permalink
        March 3, 2014 5:46 pm

        Yes, it is better that I do not read Part Three.

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      • March 3, 2014 8:16 pm

        Oops, looks like you’re stirring up the spirits again Stew! Must be on the right track as usual : ) I stand by my comment on part one.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Abby permalink
      March 3, 2014 3:06 pm

      Well said Stewart. “the lady doth protest too much, methinks . . . .”

      Christ is the wonderful counselor.

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      • Elaine permalink
        March 3, 2014 5:31 pm

        That’s right, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” And until you’ve walked “a mile in someone else’s moccasins” you won’t know. Someday, however, you might have the pleasure of dealing intimately with a narcissist. THEN you will understand! 😉 Until then, maybe it’s “different worlds” for you and me, so to speak. Oh well… Christ is the bridge for everyone.

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